Crooked Pigtails

You do the math

A word problem:

If child A gets conjunctivitis in her left eye on Thursday, and in her right eye on Friday, and then child B gets a stomach flu on Tuesday, how many loads of laundry will their mother wash, dry and fold by Wednesday?

Bonus Question:  By what day will the above mother have emptied the number of recyclable Purell bottles necessary to cash in for a one-way ticket to Hawaii?

Premature

So, I may have spoken a little too soon. 

Miss H was, indeed, fever free yesterday morning.  She wasn't exactly a bundle of energy, or, of joy, for that matter, in fact, she was downright miserable, miserable, MIS-ER-A-BLE, but she did play quietly most of the day.  By dinner her temperature was slightly elevated, back to 99, and by evening it was 102.4.  S called the pediatric answering service, reported the stats, and was told we should bring her back in today.

Today, her temperature has been hovering around 101.  Not horrible, nothing like earlier in the week, but not good either.  Today is officially day five of Fever watch 2007.  After the second very thorough examination of the week, our pediatrician presented me with two options: take her for the blood work now, or wait one more night and see if the fever breaks.  Though the prolonged fever is troubling, Miss H is not exhibiting any of the tell-tale-red-light symptoms of Meningitis, no stiff neck, no sensitivity to light...therefore, after considering all the options and details of her symptoms --which seem to be all over the place, and not specific enough to indicate anything on their own--we decided to wait one more night before subjecting her to the blood work.

I don't want to put my child through testing that is both scary for her and possibly unnecessary.  I also don't want to be a fool, if the fever is still hanging around in the morning, heaven help us all because I will be dragging (no, I am not exaggerating--you should have seen her reaction just to the discussion) Miss H into the lab.  If anyone will be in the area, feel free to stop by and help me hold her down.

Then, maybe you could explain to her that this isn't my fault.

Because that's what she thinks.  She told me she thinks I'm not making her fever go away because I want her to have blood work (actually, she called it blood pressure, which is sweet and funny and pathetic because how can you not smile at that?  Only, how can you smile when she is telling you that you suck as a parent?)  I know that she didn't mean it.  I know that she is sick and miserable and scared and seven.  But, jeeezuuus, did that sting!

My kid is being gripped by something terrible, and I can't control it, I can't make it better, but I am her mother, and, for her, everything she believes, everything she knows, is that I am supposed to make it better, because I always do, I always have.

***

I don't know where to go from that last sentence, so I'm just going to stop whining and go cuddle my kids.  Perhaps I can squeeze the fever out of her?

Random Transitionless Randomness

Miss H has an ear infection.  I woke up yesterday morning, (4:00!! yesterday morning, to be exact) with her standing over me, crying and holding her ear.  S gave her some Tylenol for the pain, and she climbed into bed with us until 8:00, when we could call the pediatric office.  In order to get the best possible look at Miss H's ear drum, the doctor had to remove a little ball of wax.  This procedure got interesting when, with the wax, came one of the tubes that have been in my little girl's ears since June of 2005; a tiny little green tube that S wanted to keep, but Miss H demanded be thrown in the trash.  The good news: this is the first ear infection we have had since those tubes were inserted.  The obvious bad news: Miss H has an ear infection the very moment the tube worked itself out.

Grrrrrr...please, please, don't let this be a sign of things to come. 

She was as sick yesterday as she has been in a long, long time.  Zero appetite (though she did drink plenty of fluids), barely picking her head up off the pillow.  Today, three doses into the medication, she is much better.  We are hanging low for the rest of the day, but she is definitely on the mend.  She sees the ENT guy in a couple of weeks, so we don't need a follow up appointment with her pediatrician.  Everyone keep your fingers crossed for good news.

***

Does anyone have a good recipe for meatloaf?  Meatloaf (or, meat cake as we like to call it in order to trick the girls into believing it is edible) is one of S's favorite meals.  But, since it is one of my least favorite meals, I don't make it often, and my recipe is mediocre at best.  He was partial to his grandmother's recipe, which no one in the family seems to have--or is willing to share, that had tomato soup as a main ingredient.  Sound familiar to anyone? 

Anyone?  Anyone???

At this point, I'll take any recipe, with or without the soup.  But, if I could score that soup recipe...

***

If you know us in real life, and are interested in ordering Girl Scout cookies from Miss H, please let me know.  She will thank you by brushing your dog every day for a week, and turning three somersaults per box ordered.

***

Recently I was forced to take Miss A with me to a gynecological appointment when her scheduled play date came down with the stomach flu.  I filled her little-kid-sized backpack with a snack, a juice box, her Leapster, some crayons and a fresh notebook filled with blank pages.  Before my doctor entered the room, I settled Miss A in a chair slightly behind me, to the right of the exam table, where she sat quietly removing everything from her backpack.

During my exam, Miss A glanced in the general direction of the tent-like shield draped over my knees and, seemingly unfazed, continued to color a purple-haired little girl basking in the warmth of a magenta sunshine.  I smiled at her, she blew me a kiss, and I breathed a sigh of silent relief.

You can see where this is going.

Later that afternoon, we went to pick up Miss H after school.  As always, the lobby was filled with several mothers chit-chatting while waiting for the kids to be dismissed.  We went to the office where I signed Miss H out, and then we joined a group of my friends in the lobby.  After a few minutes, a woman standing across the hallway from us complimented Miss A the pretty dress she was wearing, and asked her if she had done something special that day, at which point Miss A announced to the entire lobby that she had accompanied me to the the doctor where Mommy had her vagina checked-up!

Next time, I'll take my chances with the stomach flu.

Use the potty, please!

Here's the thing:

Princess A turned three years old a couple of weeks ago; she is not quite potty trained.  Let me re-phrase that---she does not yet consistently use the potty.  Honestly, I think she is completely trained, physically, she is more than capable of using the potty and demonstrates this when she is in the mood.   We can go days without an accident.  But, then we go days when she doesn't use the potty at all.  She clearly has no desire to be potty trained.   It is not important to her.  She has not yet met a big girl pantie that she likes enough to ditch her pull ups.  I get that, I really do, but...

Today, I am frustrated with the non-progress.  I know, at least in part, that I am to blame.  I know that it should frustrate me more consistently than it does, I know that I should be doing something more to move this process along, but, honestly I don't know what that would be.   It is not like we haven't tried everything we have ever heard of, it's not like I enjoy changing poopy pull ups, it's not like I don't have other places to spend that $17.00/per week currently going to pampers.   She will not go to college wearing a diaper, we all know that, so what is the big deal?  The big deal is I am sick of it, that's what, I am at the end of my rope.  This potty training thing is my parental nemesis and, right now, it is kicking my ass.  I can't take it any more.

These are the things we have attempted:

• let her go at her own pace, encourage her successes and ignore her set backs
• good, old-fashioned bribes in the form of candy (skittles...one the first time she uses the potty each day, two the second time, etc...), money (we gave her a coin to put into a jar every time she used the potty and promised that, when she filled the jar, she could use the money for any special treat she chose...she wanted to go to the zoo, but we never even covered the bottom of the jar),and toys (for those who know me well, this is big---I told her she could have a Barbie if she stayed dry for one week!  A Barbie, people, I offered my kid a Barbie!)
• putting her in big girl panties (which she picked out herself at the store) and just letting her go; she does get upset if she wets in them, but not enough to get her to stop, and honestly the excessive laundry usually wins out and we give in
• telling her that she can't participate in programs until she is using the potty (she sees the other children in pull ups or diapers and she knows that this one is a pure lie)
• refusing to change her immediately, hoping that she will become frustrated with the feeling.  (this accomplished nothing but a nice rash)

What am I missing here?  How do I get this kid ready to use the potty every time, every day?

Today she is wearing her big girl panties; so far we have not had any accidents.  I am trying to be patient enough to keep her in them no matter what, this is the time I will not give in, how long could it really take?  Not that long, right?  Please tell me, not that long.

Paws to Read **Updated**

We just returned from the public library where H had her first opportunity to read to Bently, a wire-haired dachshund and, quite honestly, one of the most gorgeous dogs I have ever seen.  In preparation for this event, we spent copious amounts of time this weekend selecting just the right book to read to Bently.  Having never met him, and not knowing exactly what sort of book dogs enjoy listening to, this was a difficult, stress inducing process.  H wanted to make a good impression.

Of particular concern to her was the possibility that we would bring a book that Bently has heard before, possibly even one that he didn't enjoy.  What if we brought his least favorite book?  How would she ever show her face in the first grade again?  We attempted to audition books by reading to Fenway, but he mostly just wanted to eat them and in one case even growled at the pictures.  Fenway, it seems, does not like photos of baby chicks.  This brought up a new concern for my sweet young girl: she certainly did not want to offend Bently.

After agonizing over the decision, H finally selected The Paper Bag Princess , which she insisted on keeping in her backpack for the remainder of the weekend.  She could not take the chance that I would forget to bring the book with us when A and I picked her up after school, and felt it best to keep the book in her own possession.  I couldn't blame her, really, I mean, I did let her down on the initial registration for this program, how could I be trusted to bring the book?

Bently is a therapy dog owned by Mrs. K., a retired fifth grade teacher.  The children read books out loud to Bently, they bond with the dog as they gain reading confidence.  When H came out of the room, Mrs. K. told me that she reads "very well for her grade level", that she (Mrs.K.) was "surprised that she is only six", and that she "reads quickly and should probably bring two or even three books next week".  H was beaming; so was I.  It is nice to hear positive things about your child, especially from an unbiased third party.

I have been concerned about H's reading all school year.  Not because she struggles, exactly the opposite.  She is a reader, has been drooling (literally) over books her entire life.  By the time she was a year old, when I would tip toe into her room each night to check on her before going to bed myself, I would kiss her forehead and leave a couple of books in her crib; in the morning I would listen over the monitor as she babbled over the books--it bought me an extra half hour of sleep almost every day.  I still find books under her covers when I re-tuck her in before I go to bed every night.

But, I have been upset with the books that she brings home from school; they are far too simple for her.  When S and I discussed this with her teacher, we were told that she is doing well and that more challenging work would be coming home soon.  This has not happened.  After speaking, ever so briefly, with Mrs. K., my frustration has been revived.

Anyway, H loved her first Paws to Read experience.  We are excited to go back next Monday.

***Updated to say I called the school this morning and made an appointment to speak with H's teacher again.  I can't stand the possibility that she will fall behind where she could be just because she is where her teacher thinks she "needs" to be.***