Once again I am cookie mother for Miss H's brownie troop. Last year my responsibilities included:
- gathering the order forms from each girl
- filling out volumes of paperwork
- placing our troop's initial cookie order
- meeting the sugar-filled truck to sign for, and take possession of, 400 gazillion cases of g*rl sco#t cookies which were then crammed into my living room
- sorting through and organizing the cases to be distributed to each girl
- contacting the parents and arranging for the cookies to be removed from my living room
- collecting each girl's cookie money
- counting and depositing the money from the cookie sales into our troop account
- organizing a "booth" sale for the troop
- borrowing cookies from the council cupboard for the booth sale
- keeping eight enthusiastic brownie scouts out of traffic during booth sale in front of local big-box-retail-chain store
- readjusting the paper work after booth sale to accurately reflect each girl's final cookie sales count
- writing an enormous check to council to pay for our cookies
- calculating each girl's
my parents work in a larger company than your parents, so they are able to sell more cookies than your parents, and therefore I win more ridiculously cheap but hotly sought after crap than you do, nanny, nanny, boo, booproper incentive prizes.
- filling out more paperwork requesting appropriate badges from council
This year my responsibilities include all of the above plus sitting in on a conference call and webinar training session with over 200 other women for a new electronic ordering system, which is basically a giant spread sheet, designed to make all of the above more simple and user friendly. For next year.
Everything is always for next year.
I was excited about the conference call. I was. In part because I have never sat in on a call that included so many people, but also because with my current status as a SAHM, I have to admit, it made me a tad giddy to send my husband off to gymnastics since, after all, I had an important business call to field at 7:00. I'm so hip, so worldly.
Conference calls suck, y'all.
Apparently, a pretty significant portion of the women on the call failed to understand how to press Star-6 in the proper order so as to mute their phones from background noise. Now don't get me wrong--I'm glad little Mikey has already brushed his teeth, and I understand how helpful it would be if little Tommy would follow suit, but I don't need to hear about it while I am trying to listen to an explanation as to the reason we are not allowed to choose the flavor of cookies our troop wishes to send to the soldiers overseas! And, believe me when I tell you, it was heartwarming, really, truly, heartwarming, to feel the energy of two hundred women willing someone, anyone, to please put the damn towels in the dryer already? because Mommy is ON THE PHONE!!
But, I could have done without it.
I'm not complaining. Miss H is thrilled that I am Cookie Mom, and it gives me the opportunity to participate in her troop without having to actually come up with activities for every meeting. Not to mention, none of those requirements are particularly brain taxing, they just all demand me to be in a state of prolonged, deadline conscious, organization which is sooo not my comfort zone, and that, naturally, makes me want to vomit much in the same way eating too many Th*nMints makes me want to toss my, well, cookies.
How are you coming out of your comfort zone?